normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
