i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
