i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
