Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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