I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
