His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
