just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
