Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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