Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
