thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
