coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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