and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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