I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Also, beer. Big fan.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
