Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
