they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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