So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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