If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
