She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
