do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
