Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
be right there i have to get my cape
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
