we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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