Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
