definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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