Sponge bath it is.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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