Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Terrible idea I love it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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