just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
