I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
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I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
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