dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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