Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
