so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
