Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
