i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
