Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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