I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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