We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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