you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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