My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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