the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
