We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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