How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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