I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
