thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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