Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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