so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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