Sponge bath it is.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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