pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize