Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
A+ Viking dick
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
