He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
