Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
