Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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