Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
