i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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