you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
