I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
