is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just invented taco cereal.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
