My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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