highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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