Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize