it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
