i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
