Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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