I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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