I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
