I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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