Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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