how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
