she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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