I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
no, he came in my armpit
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
