I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
vagina is talking i cant
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
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He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
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Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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