i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
