Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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