tell your sister to shave her snatch
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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