he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
