She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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